wrapping up

i'm still in awe that we are in the final weeks of my first year as a teacher. the weeks are getting longer, and not just for the students. we've had honors night, the 8th grade dance is coming soon, and there is already talk celebrating the last day of school. of course, there is still plenty of work to do. transition IEP meetings for my incoming 7th graders and my kids going to high school next year, identifying the kids that will have to attend summer school, recommendations for reading classes, and balancing schedules. it looks like i'm going to have 6 periods of full classes, this year i had a few really small classes and just a couple of big, rowdy classes. next year will be entirely different.

hands down i would say that organization was my downfall this year. i have great ideas for projects but getting the details in line is a difficult task for me. i've started preparing for next year already and ideally i will go into the year planned 1 month in advance at all times. of course we all know what is said about the best laid plans.....

i've recently become friends with the "bully prevention expert" for the district. it is a job he was thrown into and now he has a summer to get a program set up to be implemented next year. i've been doing my own work with bullies lately, namely dealing with the effects they have on my students.

wednesday i spent my conference period walking around the football field with a shaky, sad student. it was a good lesson in silence for me. i'm not a silent person by any means but i quickly realized that this is what he wanted. i caught flack from my department chair and her aide because we're supposed to be tough! with these kids and they have 2 choices, class or the nurse's office. but you know, this is an ED kid who has never needed this outlet, not once this year has he had to leave class shaking, save one period of med changes. i'll take the heat, i'll be called on for being "too nice" but i generally know when i'm being manipulated. this kid went back to class quickly after the walk, he got caught up on what he missed and in my class that afternoon he was joking around and smiling.

i sometimes run into this problem with my department chair. she is a very smart woman. she keeps a hard line in her room and doesn't kids get away with a lot of messing around. she also has a very idealistic view of these kids. maybe junior high was a different place for her but i remember being completely overwhelmed by divorcing parents, raging hormones, and other personal issues that felt like mountains to climb back then. nobody held my hand and let me get away with slacking off, but i had a couple of teachers that made it clear that they knew i was going through hard times and they made me feel safe. they made me feel heard.

not all kids are out to manipulate the system. some of them just don't operate well within it. i refuse to leave them out there sinking on their own.